BEHIND THE SCENES OF MARCH

International Women’s Day is currently often viewed as little more than a charming tradition of gifting flowers, yet its origins lie in the recognition of women’s labour and the struggle for equal rights. This historical continuity is particularly relevant today, as the modern woman continues to live in a state of an endless "work marathon", which has simply shifted from the factory floor to the "second shift" at home. Statistics confirm that despite the rights gained, the physical and emotional burden on women has not decreased; rather, it has become more veiled.

According to data from the International Labour Organization, women globally perform three times more unpaid domestic work than men. In terms of time, this amounts to roughly four hours a day, compared to an hour and a half for men.

This complex of hidden challenges inevitably leads to chronic fatigue and profound emotional burnout. The primary cause of female exhaustion is that after a full working day, she begins a second shift, assuming the bulk of domestic tasks and the so-called "cognitive tax"—a state of constant planning.

The core issue is not even the washing up itself, but the immense mental load. Research from Oxford University shows that it is typically the woman who keeps hundreds of tasks in mind—from grocery shopping to medical appointments. This invisible oversight exhausts the psyche more than any physical labour.

The one-woman orchestra

In Azerbaijan, this situation is felt particularly acutely due to the collision of modern career demands and traditional expectations. Reports from the State Statistical Committee indicate that Azerbaijani women spend approximately 25% of their time on domestic chores and caregiving, while men spend less than 9%. The primary source for these figures is the UN Global Database for Sustainable Development Goal indicators.

Consequently, an Azerbaijani woman is expected to be both a successful professional and an impeccable homemaker. Psychologists note that in our society, women often do not admit to depression, dismissing it as mere tiredness, as speaking openly about mental health is sometimes perceived as a sign of weakness. This is compounded by the gender pay gap, which remains significant in the country, often reinforcing the belief within families that domestic labour is a "natural" compensation for a smaller financial contribution.

The psychological consensus is clear: burnout occurs when a woman only gives resources without having the opportunity to replenish them. The American Psychological Association confirms that women are 28% more likely than men to suffer from stress caused by attempts to balance career and home life. Constant pressure from social media, with its curated image of the "perfect mother", only exacerbates the situation.

Thus, to ease the burden on women, the very approach to family life must change. Experts from the Gottman Institute, who have studied relationships for decades, assert that in families where domestic duties are shared equally, the level of marital happiness is 40% higher. It is crucial to stop saying that a husband and children "help" the mother, as this implies the home is solely her responsibility. It is more accurate to speak of participation, where all family members become equal stakeholders in their living space.

Unfortunately, in reality, International Women’s Day often serves as a "buy-off", where a man shows attention once a year, only for everything to return to the status quo for the remaining three hundred and sixty-four days. Sometimes men even perceive gifts as unnecessary expenses; in such cases, it is vital for a woman to realise that her resentment is not a whim, but a reaction to her daily contribution being undervalued. Psychologists believe that a reluctance to please a partner and "economising" on emotions are red flags for the future of a relationship. In this scenario, a woman should reconsider her self-sacrifice: if a partner is unwilling to invest in a celebration, it stands to reason that they should shoulder more practical tasks during the working week.

So the true meaning of March 8 today is not a bouquet once a year, but an opportunity to honestly agree on how to lighten a woman's load through delegating tasks, using modern services, and, most importantly, giving herself permission not to be perfect.

Spread the word

Initiating such a conversation can be difficult, as domesticity is often perceived in our culture as a woman’s "natural" duty. Psychologists recommend approaching this topic not through accusations, but by describing one's own state and proposing specific solutions.

It is essential to choose the right moment when both partners are calm and not preoccupied. Instead of the phrase "You never help me", it is better to say: "I feel that I am becoming extremely tired and am starting to burn out; it is difficult for me to handle the entire volume of domestic tasks alone". This shifts the focus from criticising the man to the woman's internal state, which will be easier for him to grasp. Research by family psychologists, including the work of the American psychologist John Gottman, who specialises in marital studies, confirms that a "soft start" to a conversation significantly increases the likelihood that a partner will listen rather than become defensive.

The second step should be to "make the invisible visible". Often, men genuinely do not notice the volume of work because it seems to get done "by itself". One can compile a list of all household chores together, including the mental load—such as planning menus, buying gifts for relatives, or managing children’s school schedules. When a full list is laid out, the conversation about redistributing duties becomes more objective. Here, it is vital to move away from the concept of "help" and propose a "common cause" format, where everyone has their own area of responsibility that others do not interfere with or micromanage.

It is also important to explain to children that a family is a team. A conversation with them can be built around teaching independence, explaining that their contribution to the home’s cleanliness helps their mother be more cheerful and spend more quality time with them. Psychologists emphasise that delegating responsibilities to children fosters responsibility and empathy. The key to this process is being prepared for the fact that results may not be perfect initially, and allowing family members to do tasks their own way without redoing the work for them; otherwise, they will quickly lose the motivation to participate.

It must be recognised that genuine respect for a woman is measured not by the number of roses gifted once a year, but by a readiness to share the weight of daily cares. March 8 must cease to be a day of "buying off" and become the starting point for a profound transformation within every family. Modern well-being is impossible where one partner is exhausted while the other takes it for granted. Easing a woman’s life begins with a simple but courageous step—an open dialogue stating that the home and children are a shared responsibility, not a "natural duty" for the one who earns less or remains silent.

In Azerbaijan, where traditions intertwine with the modern pace of life, this path requires particular sensitivity and mutual patience. We must come to understand that a happy, rested, and fulfilled woman is not a luxury, but the foundation of a healthy family and a thriving society. Investing in a woman’s free time, in her right to rest and self-development, always pays dividends in the form of harmony at home and a positive example for future generations. Let this holiday serve as a reminder that care is not a scheduled feat, but a daily choice in favour of partnership, empathy, and genuine equality that does not depend on salary figures.