NO TROUBLE WITH TROUBLED ONES

Each bulb in the house has its own history; each name has its own fate and each man has his own life. We often live under the influence of familiar concepts that serve as protective armour for us without noticing that we fence ourselves off from reality, often by redefining it in a convenient way.

A troubled teen... What often comes to mind when we hear this term? We imagine a boorish boy with a cigarette in his mouth, ready to cause trouble, hurt the weak, an unchanging character of dark alleys, uncontrollable and often also implicated in crime. Is it true? After all, even if we understand that behind every troubled teen there is the warped fate of more than one person, things are often not the way they seem at first glance. But, despite this, there are people who work with them and can find an approach to them.

Who is a troubled teen?

An expert in problem children and head of the Association of Children of Azerbaijan, Kamala Agazada, says: "We work with children from three to eighteen years old, and the concept of 'problem child' covers the whole period without limiting it only to teens. First of all, I want to note that it is impossible to say that a troubled teen is definitely a child from the 'garbage can' or with a difficult life. Recently, we were approached by parents and children from wealthy families. Psychologists, lawyers and medical professionals - all staff who can help a child or young person in difficult situations - are working with children."

Work with them is quite complex and has multiple stages. First of all, you have to find out why a child is labelled as a "troubled teen". And it requires a special approach. Kamala identifies the following factors affecting the child: domestic violence (unfortunately, it is a very common factor), parenting issues and problem family. "We have been approached by the mother of a twelve-year-old girl who was completely out of control," said the expert. The thing is that the child was born with a congenital heart defect. Naturally, this could not but affect the whole situation in the family and relationships between the daughter and parents; they took care of her and pandered to all her wishes. And the child grew up, terrorizing the family and confident that everyone is indebted to her. The intensity of the conflict situation, which is unfortunately very typical, went so far that the mother addressed a specialist in despair: "I'm even ready to leave the house just to keep her happy."

According to Kamala Agazada, it is difficult to calibrate accurately what motives affect personality - social or psychological, but they must be taken together, and when working with a psychologist many underlying causes are revealed. "Work with the family is crucial," said the head of the association. "After all, children really are very flexible and always ready for dialogue, but unfortunately, the parents may not be so compliant and don't realize the depth of the problem; mother and father also need to change their behaviour."

According to the expert, it is impossible to say at the same time in which environment there are more "problem children". "Previously, representatives of wealthy families avoided disclosing problems with children. Now the situation has changed: about half of the children who come to us are from wealthy families. If you hide a problem for a long time and try to cover it up with material offerings or something else, it will not disappear, but rather move into a latent form."

Well, it is certainly a positive fact that the stereotypical foundations of our mentality no longer prevent us from worrying and caring about our own psychological health because any person is a resource of the nation.

Children from the disadvantaged segment of the population deserve a separate comment. "If in the case of normal children we work with the whole family and correct some issues of education, in the case of problem children the situation is different," says Kamala. "You know, you cannot re-educate or change a child at 16-17. We can only support and adjust his line of conduct, give advice on the way out and help him." According to the expert, the main problem of neglected children is their separation from the family. But work with them is also a little easier. Although most problems in these children are situational and social: "We are approached by children of single mothers, children of drug users, homeless and sex workers. Their main problem is their unwillingness to accept the situation in which they find themselves. For how long will I see my father beating my mother; my parents shooting up; men visiting my mother..., such complaints are, unfortunately, not uncommon," Kamala Agazada says.

Another big problem for troubled teens, in her view, is difficulty with seeking professional help: "The country has a lot of psychological help centres, but they are all private, and as a result, paid. The amount varies from 30 to 100 manats; it is clear that not all teens can afford it." Perhaps that's the reason most of the problems of problem children remain unspoken. 

Such different problems

The consultant and psychologist Humay Axundzada comments: "A troubled teen is a generic term that can include very different problems. By using this phrase, we often mean antisocial children who have problems with communication or are aggressive. However, the spectrum is actually wider." Psychological problems in children can result in learning difficulties, shyness, anxiety or hyperactivity. It must be borne in mind that any teenager is part of the school and home system. His problems arise not so much from him as from the environment. You cannot consider the problem of children in isolation from the family and school.

Unfortunately, adults often avoid responsibility for the child, saying that all problems come from the particularities of adolescence. In fact, most of them come from unspoken rules in the family or school. In adolescence, the child often breaks these limits, opposes the rules and does what is not accepted in the family or school.

 "In order to help a child, adults should not just give the child to a psychiatrist, but actively participate in the process, start with themselves, analyze what kind of example they give their children and whether the 'difficulty' of the teenager results from pressure."

According to the psychologist, there are two types of factors influencing the formation of the "difficulties" - internal and external. The internal ones are hereditary, congenital and genetic features of the nervous system, for example, if a child is excitable from infancy or there was a brain dysfunction during childbirth.

Problems arise when the external and internal problems occur in the same child. When, for example, overprotection, harsh upbringing and excess expectations, which he tries to justify and cannot, are superimposed on his initial nervousness. Together, all these factors influence such a teenager.

Humay Axundzada believes that one cannot be a fatalist, and even congenital problems go away if you correctly approach education, because then you can change behaviour too. An excitable child, for example, cannot be made perfectly calm, but you can translate it in a constructive direction.

The main method of the psychologist's work in this case is to work not only with the troubled teen, but also his parents. When a child begins to show behavioral problems, it seems that they can leave him with a psychologist, and let him solve the problem alone. The psychologist often solves it, but returning to the environment, the child soon returns to the old patterns of behaviour. The psychologist must also work with teachers and classmates.

In adolescence, the authority of peers is higher than that of adults, and it is recommended to work with such people in a group. The most important thing is to make sure that children are sitting together even if they have different problems.

Rehabilitation programme

The head of the NGO Alliance for Children's Rights, Nabil Seyidov, says that in 2013 a law was passed on work with troubled teens, but it is hard to talk about any specific measures. At the same time, with the support of the alliance, Sabuncu District [of Baku] operates a youth organization, which carries out educational and rehabilitation work. Since the concept of troubled teens is still partly inseparable from crime and the state structure tends to treat the problem in this way, the activities of the organization involve police officers, lawyers and representatives of local authorities.

According to Kamala Agazada, the Association of Children of Azerbaijan submitted to the Ministry of Education a draft inclusive special education model on a curriculum for children with limited abilities (both physiological and social). "I can say that the ministry has not yet given an answer, even though we ourselves have been working on this model adopted in Europe and the United States."

Examples that can be followed

Anyone, even the most marginal person, needs an activity that will distract him from destructive life. For example, positive experience in engaging troubled teens in a creative process was gained by a kind of informal street circus called Uppsala in St. Petersburg. Its creation was furthered by a chance meeting with a social worker who had amateur circus experience. It all started with primitive props like a unicycle, but then, after hard work it turned into a balancing act and best circus art. Given the fast learning due to the honed skill of survival, a group of "troubled teens" achieved certain successes. It is a pity that the picture still cannot be called idyllic - the absence of state or municipal support complicates the existence of such creative initiatives. Of course, an important role is played by the fact that in Europe there is a wide layer of subcultures, informal groups and street art. All this ease, especially occurring in the street where problem youths most often take shape, serves as a creative environment.